Man-child: Examination of the individual who fails to grow up.

There are adult men who act like kids. Their emotional level is like they are still 10 years old. Sometimes these men are known as eternal boys or man-childs. Like Peter Pan, they never seem to grow up. Things that are normal in their young age is carried and continued in their later adult life.

The women of Reddit answered this question: “What’s the biggest man child red flag?”
“Eating like a 12 year old. Doesn’t read, doesn’t progress, never take responsibility, throws tantrum.”

A Swiss psychologist found a disturbing trend. She found all those men who remain stunned in maturation had something to do with their mother and an emotionally and physically absent father. Because their father was emotionally and physically absent, the child only had a caring and a loving mother who fed him and gave all comfort. As a result the child becomes overly attached to this motherly care. He doesn’t want to leave it.

As he grow up and enter the real world of work, struggle and hardship, it becomes unbearable to him. Refusing to face the reality, he returns to his parent’s house and live with his mother. “He seeks, as it were, the protecting, nourishing, charmed circle…[in her care], the outside world bends over him and even force his happiness upon him. No wonder the real world vanishes from site”

“But the problem with the man child is that once they reach a certain age, all hope is lost. If a man-child is in his 30s and 40s still can’t get it together, he never will. Will I ever date a man child again?” Amanda wrote “No effing way”

There is journey he must take. A journey from boyhood to adulthood. Jung writes:
“…in the morning of life the son tears himself loose from the mother, from the domestic protection, to rise through the battle to his destined heights… He must fight and sacrifice his longing for the past in order to rise to his own heights… The natural course of life demands that the young person should sacrifice his childhood and his childish dependence on the physical parents, so that he may no longer remain caught his body and soul in the bones of unconscious incest”

The process of separating from parents were not really a confusing thing in the past. It was embedded in their culture, so it was not a difficult thing. Mandela wrote: “When I was sixteen, the regent decided that it was time that I become a man. In Xhosa tradition, this is achieved through one means only: circumcision.”

In other countries they have other rituals and methods. But in today’s world this had died, making the process even more difficult.

Reference:
Puer Aeternus
Aion p. 11
askwoman subreddit
Bustle, 2017
Symbols of transformation p. 578
Long walk to freedom 1, chapter 04.
J. Lopez, Ain’t your mama, 2016

Revisions:
Original: 06-12-20